Thu
Dec 4 2008
09:05 am
UT to eliminate academics
By: R. Neal

Facing unprecedented budget cuts, the University of Tennessee has decided to eliminate all academic programs and concentrate on sports and student housing.

"These are our only real moneymakers," said U.T. President John Petersen. "The free market has spoken, so we will focus on our core competencies and outsource the rest to Phoenix Online University and the ITT Technical Institute," said Petersen.

Gov. Bredesen applauded the decision, saying that Petersen's "brilliant plan" is "exactly the type of innovative thinking we need to lead our state out of this budget quagmire and into the future."

Related news here and here.

Topics:
R. Neal's picture

Yes, as Bill Hobbs would

Submitted by R. Neal on Thu, 2008/12/04 - 9:47am.

Yes, as Bill Hobbs would say, people can give themselves a tax cut by just not spending money!

Andy Axel's picture

Same logic yields the

Submitted by Andy Axel on Thu, 2008/12/04 - 10:30am.

Same logic yields the following result: Lose your job, and you get a tax cut! Fall into poverty, and you get a tax cut! Plus, you get all the lucky ducky benefits of government programs!

____________________________

Dirty deeds done dirt cheap! Special holidays, Sundays and rates!

Victor Agreda Jr's picture

haha

Submitted by Victor Agreda Jr (not verified) on Thu, 2008/12/04 - 11:39am.

Brilliant. Joking, of course. ITT could sure use the money. It only costs about a quarter of a million dollars to fully finance a 2-year degree (no joke), so the influx of new students would certainly be a boon o_0

homesickjimmy's picture

Phoenix online

Submitted by homesickjimmy (not verified) on Thu, 2008/12/04 - 1:31pm.

State of TN does not allow U. of Phoenix online to operate in TN....ahhh too bad huh ?

SnM's picture

Hilarious,

Submitted by SnM on Thu, 2008/12/04 - 2:28pm.

that was.

Nobody's picture

Petterson to be replaced

Submitted by Nobody (not verified) on Sat, 2008/12/06 - 4:38am.

Petterson to be replaced by:

RomeoSullivan
MemphisStench
PeterBiggs
ButtTrumpet
FiletMigion
OtisCampbell
Number10
TheMaestro
Occams_Razor_aka_TVoR
AgentOrange007
RogerTheShrubber
Number10
Banned4BUI
DancingOutlaw
Drunk_Tank
deuceboston

not to mention MANY others, who promise to break, regularly for his outfit changes, during meetings.
Said person also promises to take phone calls from alternate personalities during said meetings to argue with itself.

The local buttjerk also promises to spend "way too much time" on the KNS.

When asked for a qualification, he said,"I look like Mike Hamilton with a goatee! Just less hair..."

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