Mon
Apr 1 2019
08:05 am

(AP) Axios reported today that President Donald Trump confessed to being the thought-to-be-dead comedian Andy Kaufman.

Trump/Kaufman confessed the charade when confronted by a reporter at a rally in the Wheeling, West Virginia, sports arena.

"It was backstage here in early 1984 when the opportunity presented itself," he recalled. "Donald Trump has just done some wrestling cameos for the McMahons. I came to the dressing rooms to see Freddie Blassie, and found Trump preparing to disappear to South America with his porn star girlfriend."

"A circus had been here and left behind some orange clown make-up, a bad wig, some long red ties. Before you knew it, I had a character," said Kaufman.

"I'd already been planning my own fake death, so I just incorporated it into my plans. I've always had short fingers so people never noticed the change."

"The more I gave clues in 2016 that it was all a mindless game, the more my, or his, vote total grew. It went from being the best hoax in America to the best hoax in the history of the world."

Kaufman/Trump then slipped into his Latka Gravas voice and said "Thank you very much, America, covfefe. That's the news this April first."

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