Thu
Feb 7 2008
07:25 pm
Red Georgia Clay
By: rocketsquirrel

As a Tennessean, I am disturbed by the stunt being played out right now by the Georgia legislature, attempting to move the Tennessee state line a mile in order to “share” water from the Tennessee river.

With apologies to the late Sam Kinnison, I submit the following:

"I'm like anyone else on this planet -- I'm very moved by the Georgia drought situation. I see the same commercials, with those little kids, THIRSTING TO DEATH, listening to John Mayer on their iPods at the Buckhead Mall, and very depressed. I watch those kids and I go, ‘Dang, I know the FILM crew could give this kid a Dasani!' There's a director five feet away going, 'DON'T GIVE IT TO HIM YET! GET THAT DASANI OUTTA HERE! IT DOESN'T WORK UNLESS HE LOOKS THIRSTY!!!'

But I'm not trying to make fun of the Georgia drought situation. Matter of fact, I think I have the answer. You want to stop the water shortage in Georgia? Stop moving more people into Atlanta. Don't let these people build one more McMansion, folks. Not one more jet ski dock, not one more gated community on Lake Lanier. You want to send them something, you want to help? Send them U-Hauls. Send them U-Hauls, some luggage, send them a guy out there who says, 'Hey, we been driving out here every day with your water, for, like, the last thirty or forty years, and we were driving out here today across the desert, and it occurred to us that there wouldn't BE a water shortage in Georgia, if you people would LIVE WHERE THE WATER IS! YOU LIVE IN A DESERT! YOU LIVE IN A FRICKIN’ DESERT! NOTHING GROWS OUT HERE! NOTHING'S GONNA GROW OUT HERE! YOU SEE THIS? HUH? THIS IS RED GEORGIA CLAY. KNOW WHAT IT'S GONNA BE A HUNDRED YEARS FROM NOW? IT'S GONNA BE RED GEORGIA CLAY! YOU LIVE IN A FRICKIN’ DESERT! GET YOUR STUFF, GET YOUR STUFF, WE'LL MAKE ONE TRIP, WE'LL TAKE YOU TO WHERE THE WATER IS! WE HAVE DESERTS IN AMERICA -- WE JUST DON'T LIVE IN THEM!"

Topics:
captainkona's picture

:D

Submitted by captainkona on Thu, 2008/02/07 - 8:24pm.

LOL!

How many plum full swimming pools do you think there are in Georgia?

LINK
"Citing risks to public health and safety, Governor Sonny Perdue announced plans today to modify state restrictions on the filling of swimming pools in drought-stricken north Georgia, but will still require that water conservation goals be met. Under a Level Four Drought Response, the filling of outdoor swimming pools is prohibited. Today Governor Perdue announced the lifting of this restriction, allowing outdoor pools to be filled from April through September 2008."

"We have to invade Tennessee to survive! But you can fill your pools this summer!"

(laughing and shaking my head)


"The mind is like a parachute, it only works when it's open."

Hayduke's picture

Outlaw lawn irrigation and

Submitted by Hayduke on Thu, 2008/02/07 - 8:25pm.

Outlaw lawn irrigation and there is no water shortage. Actually, people have to be free to do stupid things within reason, so exponential pricing would solve it. The water you need is cheap. As you exceed that, the price goes up. Steeply. A lawn or swimming pool in the desert should be so mind-bogglingly expensive that the stupidity of it is fully apparent.

Pam Strickland's picture

I have relatives in Southern

Submitted by Pam Strickland on Thu, 2008/02/07 - 10:26pm.

I have relatives in Southern California. My cousin had turned his house over to his 20-something sons, but he and his wife decided they wanted the big house with the swimming pool instead of their little house. So the moved back and are remodeling. But the yard is about to become fake grass because "I don't want to pay hundred of dollars to water" real grass.

pgs

Pam Strickland

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." ~Kurt Vonnegut

anonomous's picture

Solution 1)Get a map of

Submitted by anonomous (not verified) on Thu, 2008/02/07 - 9:49pm.

Solution

1)Get a map of Georgia
2)Figure closest part of Atlantic Ocean to Atlanta
3)Build pipeline to there
4)Build desalination plant there
5)Turn on spigot
6)Let Atlantans pay for this water

gonzone's picture

Southern and TVA

Submitted by gonzone on Fri, 2008/02/08 - 9:31am.

Right wing ideologues still dream of privatizing TVA and what better company than Southern?
That way they get not only the most reliable transmission system and one of the largest power producing capabilities around but all that delicious water from the Tennessee river for those poor, thirsty Buckhead natives!
I've always heard that one day fresh water would be THE most valuable resource on earth and we're beginning to see that become reality.

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
Hunter S. Thompson

Anonymous's picture

The ironic thing, of course,

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 2008/02/08 - 9:16pm.

The ironic thing, of course, is that the one of the most significant (if not the most signficant) source of water loss comes from degraded municipal water system leaks. The losses are tremendous-- but to fix them requires investment in public infrastructure. We all know how popular that is.

Tamara Shepherd's picture

Raising wrong crops a major problem

Submitted by Tamara Shepherd on Fri, 2008/02/08 - 9:48pm.

Did you see Gary's link yesterday, posted on Justin's "Call to arms" blog on this same subject?

The report Gary shared cites as a major culprit worldwide this agricultural focus on crops that simply require greater amounts of water than we'll likely to be able to feed them in the future. It predicts that our dietary habits will have to change sometime soon.

See (link...)

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