President Bush shocked the nation this morning when he appeared on the Fox and Friends show to announce his resignation on live TV, effective immediately.

"I listened to those censorship hearings about my illegal wiretappings yesterday, and realized that I have not been a good president or even a good person for that matter," said a visibly shaken and remorseful George W. Bush, adding "Me and Laura talked about it last night and decided this was the best thing." "Besides, y'all don't know the half of it," he remarked, suggesting there could be implications of other wrongdoing.

Dick Cheney was sworn in on the Fox and Friends set, with Brit Hume serving as witness. President Cheney's first official act was to award Halliburton a $100 billion no-bid contract to manage a personal hygiene product supply line for coalition troops in Iraq, after which he pardoned former President Bush and himself for "all crimes, felonies, misdemeanors, and any other wrongdoing, known or alleged, previously, now, or in the future."

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