Last week I had the pleasure of showing Michael Kostroff, the mean lawyer on the HBO hit series "The Wire" around Knoxville. Apparently, he has a couple of friends who want to get out of LA, and they've been considering the Mid-south. Always eager to recruit more artistic people to our area, I proudly cruised him around our downtown area and North Knoxville--the West side of Knoxville is another planet to me, too strip-mallish, too suburban, too far to drive for city folks used to living in a downtown neighborhood.

Some of Kostroff's favorite places were the Tomato Head, Oodles, the Time Warp Tearoom, Carpe Librum Bookstore, Market Square, and the Riverwalk. He did point out however, and I have to agree with him, that the one thing missing in downtown Knoxville or even North Knoxville was a good old fashioned urban breakfast joint.

You know the kind I mean--tables and a counter with red and chrome stools, CHEAP prices, a place that makes corn beef hash and serves lox and bagels, a place where you can hang out and read the Sunday Times while enjoying a homemade blueberry muffin. The kind of deli where regulars go every day and everyone, like in the Cheers bar, "knows your name".

We do have the coffee shop in Old City, but it's only coffee and pastries there. We also have Rankin's on Central Avenue. It's got the right physical space, but the menu is classic "homestyle" meaning the home-fries are so-so and the waitress probably thinks lox should be on doors, not on top of bagels. When asked if they had corned beef hash, she just looked puzzled.

Don't get me wrong, I love places like Rankin's. I'd probably starve to death without them, but they're just too un-urban to satisfy my need for a good old fashioned breakfast joint.

The food at the Cracker Barrel is okay, but it's always too mobbed on the weekends, and you have to pass through the jungle of trinkets, the cabbage-shaped tea pots, and hummingbird wind chimes to reach the dining room. That can be a little unnerving early in the morning.

The Waffle House is--well what can you say about a place that serves homefries that looks like shredded strings---

I wouldn't call Panera Bread a breakfast joint.

There is an interesting homestyle restauraunt around the corner from the Fellinni Kroger's (a name Kostroff loved by the way). It serves breakfast, but on styrofoam plates. They have gospel singing there too. On weekend nights, the parking lot is packed. I've always wanted to go in there some night because I imagine they have great music, but frankly I'm kind of afraid they all might start laying hands on me, and I'm not exactly eager to be possessed by the Holy Ghost or anything else.

After touring the city, Kostroff was definitely impressed with Knoxville. Especially the price of homes and apartments here. He loved the Tennessee Theater, and he's played some of the best theaters in the country when he toured with The Producers and Les Miserables.

I think maybe Harold's Place was the kind of urban deli we would have enjoyed, but Harold's is now all closed up and gutted.

I guess all I can do is wait for some clever business person, not a chain, not a corporation, just somebody with a few bucks who wants to make a good living, to open an urban deli downtown. Surely, with all the condos, lofts apartments and new retail shops, they would draw a lot of people.

If anyone knows of a place I've missed please let me know. If the atmosphere is right and the eggs (two over easy please with home fries, coffee, and toast) are under $4.00, I'll be there every morning.