carol, please don't beat the farm. that would be torture. sorry. couldn't resist.

The situation is ripe for "gallows humor". If there was dialogue along with the mock tape it would go like this.

Torturer #1- Come on now Buddy, if you don't tell us what we want to know we might have to do terrible things to you.

Victim: Gurgle, Gurgle gurgle.

Torturer #2- Be careful Agent Brown, be sure you pour the water gently into his nose. He seems to be squirming a bit.

Victim: Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle.

Tortuer #1--Okay the 35 seconds are up. Pull the duct tape off his lips and gently extract the sock from his mouth.

Torturer #2.--Okay Bud, you ready to cooperate now?

Victim: (choking and sobbing) Yeah, yeah, I'll tell you anything. I swear man, you guys are real nice dudes. I'll even denounce any belief I ever had in that nasty old Muslim religion. I'll give you information about that rat Bin Laden too. (The Prisoner grabs a copy of the Koran off the torturer's table) Here. Here dudes look! See me biting and chewing this detestable Holy Book. I'll do what ever you want, just don't use that powerful waterboarding technique on me again. It was the worst 35 seconds of my life. It changed me. It made me want to be a Christian and move to California. Now all I want is to drink beer and watch Britney Spears running over people's toes on TV. I tell you I am a totally reformed man. Praise Allah, Oh I mean thanks be to Jesus Christ Amen. Now about what I know...

Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

Right now we're getting the big sell again about how dignified and necessary and okay it is to be as evil and cruel as the enemies we think we are protecting ourselves from. We're being told it's impractical and silly to be against torture in a time of "war".

Don't buy it. Americans are better than that.

I've come to the conclusion that the only thing worse than keyboard warriors are keyboard humanitarians.

Disgusted by the government torturing in the name of national security on your behalf? Here's an idea that may let you sleep at night.

While you're sitting comfortably in your homes, on your property that you own, think about how you got it.

Under President James Monroe, with the help of Andrew Jackson, who later finalized the issue with the Indian Removal Act, we wiped the American Indian off the lands we, our ancestors, wanted. Half the Cherokees who were sent on the Trail of Tears died in transit. At times they were herded on railroad box cars, standing up, packed like sardines on part of the trip. What does that remind us of?

Do you remember the last time you passed a Cherokee, Creek, Choctaw, or Chickaswa, on the street somewhere in Tennessee?

I guess as long as you actually benefit it doesn't really matter.

But if you are that upset over what you see as inhumane injustices taken against human beings in the name of national security, then by all means, grab your land deeds and titles, cross the Mississippi, and find a reservation inhabitant, and let them have their land back.

Otherwise, please shut up.