I would add this one as the most important headline of the day.

Alice Rocchio is an office manager at the New York headquarters of the Hess Corp., drives a 1993 Chevy Cavalier and lives in an apartment in Queens, N.Y., with her husband, Pasquale, an Amtrak foreman.

Despite what appears to be a middle-class lifestyle, the couple has written $61,600 in checks to John McCain's presidential campaign and the Republican National Committee, most of it within days of McCain's decision to endorse offshore oil drilling.

Nothing fishy here. Move along folks. Hey, did you hear about Paris Hilton?!?

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
Hunter S. Thompson

That was funny. Paris Hilton's energy policy sounds pretty much like it won't work as promised, but it is better than McCain's.

Paris Hilton's energy policy sounds pretty much like it won't work as promised

It took, like, okay, ten times watching the ad before I figured that out.
For the record, I was only looking for a weakness in her campaign.

Also from Funny or Die, The Change You Deserve, featuring an appearance by tin cup in the fine print.

I take back anything I ever said about Paris Hilton being stupid. This not only smacks McCain up the side of the head, it smacks her critics as well.

Bravo, Paris.

In the unkindest cut of all, McCain’s spokesperson Tucker Bounds tells TMZ that on the subject of energy, Paris is deeper than Barack. He says, “Sounds like Paris is taking the ‘All of the Above’ energy approach that John McCain has advocated — both alternatives and drilling. Perhaps the reality is that Paris has a more substantive energy plan than Barack Obama.”

"Vote for me or my bus will run over you."

From CNN iReport

Remember when the Hansen Brothers took an axe to the team bus in Slap Shot?

Same here, they're makin' it look mean.

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