Why are so many people thinking about my colon?

Submitted by Bbeanster on Wed, 2008/04/23 - 10:51pm.

I've noticed lately that I'm getting a bunch of e-mails trying to sell me things to clean out my colon, complete with disgusting color photos of what appear to be 5-foot turds. They're peddling yogurts with "fiber" in them, too. Who wants laxative in their yogurt?

But today's e-mail took the cake, so to speak.

Slugged "the REAL reason why you're fat," It's from Dr. Suzanne Gudakunst, who thinks I'm a "subscriber" (to what? All-colons, all the time? Rectal sphinxters unite? Bowels 'n' howls? Evidently she knows me well enough to let me know that I'm fat because I'm, well, full of shit -- 10-25-50 or even 100 pounds worth? Plus a bunch of critters up in there?
...........................................

Hello Subscriber,

it's me Dr. Suzanne G. here , and I wanted to let you know a very scary fact
that every single person MUST be aware of if they every want to lose their fat:
Did you know the average person has 6-10 undigested meals resting in their
colon?
Also, Every Single Person Has Disgusting Plaque and Horrible Little 'CRITTERS'
Living in Their Colon!

I'm Going to Show You How to Get Rid of All of It so You Can Shed 10 lbs, 25
lbs, 50 lbs even 100 lbs or more - and Keep It Off FOREVER!!

Press here and I will show you how:

Link...

Thank you, and allow me to help you lose weight as quickly as possible!

Dr. Suzanne Gudakunst

To not receive future offers/promotions from "Dr. Suzy"
please press on the below link and scroll to the bottom of the page:

Link...

Or
send us a letter at:
6965 El Camino Real
Suite 105 - 698
La Costa, CA 92009

To stop receiving advertisements please follow this link, or write to the
address below:

Link...

customer service
222 Purchase Street Suite 109
Rye, NY 10580-2101

7
vote

SteveMule's picture
Oh, yes, this has been around

Oh, yes, this has been around awhile. Did you know that John Wayne had 20 pounds of fecal in his colon at the time of his death?!? I could make a lot of jokes but I won't
Check these out:
Link...
or
Link...
or
Link...
or
Link...
or
Link...
or ...
Well, you get the idea and you'll never guess where I got all those links. Who knew that the key to healthy living was up your ass? Would'a thunk it?

Take Care, Be Good and don't play in the street!

SteveMule

This is taking the ole'

This is taking the ole' saying "talking crap" to whole new level. I'm glad you didn't include photos!

WhitesCreek's picture
That reminds me of the old....

Doctor, You gotta help me...I don't know what's wrong but Everything I eat turns to S***!

Did you ever hear the one

Did you ever hear the one about the different parts of the body wanting to be boss?

Terry Troll's picture
It moves

I guess everyone has heard about the traveling 40 foot colon that you can walk through and look around? Talk about having your head...

just last night

i was making jokes about that there email colonic wave assault, as i had just seen one in my (heh heh) bulk mail titled Colon Samples. while i may yearn for many things a Colon Sample is not on the list. and where do they get them?

i was reminded of the old Emily Litella SNL editorial, on Endangered Feces, and as she said 'who'd want to keep those around anyway?"

I came across an infomercial

I came across an infomercial for a colon cleanser a while back. Reminded me of the old SNL mock commercial for "Colon Blo" cereal.

What is with all the interest in colons these days? I suspect Oprah and Dr.Oz have something to do with it.

Bizzy's picture
The Temptation is Great

But I will refrain from the gratuitous joke about a certain blogger (who generally posts here as anonymous) being full of crap.

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