Sun
Feb 17 2008
12:49 pm

One of the featured writers for the Knoxville News Sentinel's citizen op-ed series writes:

To ask that I be muzzled from stating my opinion, though, is certainly not a shining example of the commitment to individual freedoms to which these liberals claim I am neglecting them ascription.

She claims she has a BA from Duke University. Apparently they no longer teach English Composition there.

Then there's this:

...his political strategy of vague themes of hope and change will be held to the fire...

Is she suggesting these vague themes are soft marshmallows, or left-over bits and pieces mashed up into a hot dog? (Just trying to help her develop the metaphor...)

And then there's this:

The emergence of a Michael Bloomberg run would only exacerbate the Republican Party's chances.

I'm not sure what this means, but I think she's trying to say it might hurt their chances.

We also learn that all these mean liberals bubbling up to the top on both tickets means conservative hacks are free to take cheap shots at everybody. Or, as our Ann Coulter on wobbly training wheels writes, "stand as a conservative ideologue apart from any politician, figure or group." See, she's not taking sides. She's just pointing out the obvious failures of democracy.

Where does the KNS find these people? Dr. Pete may be loony tunes, but at least he can string together a coherent paragraph or two.

You might think the KNS is over the top with some of these guest op-eds. On the contrary, they're performing a public service by exposing them to ridicule. (While giggling in anticipation of the letters they are sure to receive.)

So, KNS, please don't muzzle these valiant keyboard crusaders for truth, liberty, and the free market exchange of ideas. They're too entertaining!

knoxvegas99's picture

Davis is Don Williams' evil

Davis is Don Williams' evil twin, lacking only the elegant prose, imagination, logic and compassion that marked Williams' writing in the KNS. Her shortcomings in English grammar are an unforeseen (one hopes, for God's sake) dash of humor in her otherwise dreary and predictable rantings.

As for where the KNS finds the Dr. Petes and Jessica Davises, both are first-generation products manufactured (more correctly, bioengineered) by the little known Coulter Institute for Android Research (CIAR). Operating in underground research and production facilities in the vicinity of White Sands, New Mexico since the early 90's, CIAR is rumored to be on the verge of a major breakthrough: an android combining the folksy appeal of a George W. Bush, the soullessness of a Karl Rove and the wonk-speak capacity of a William F. Buckley, Jr.

Too sci-fi for you? Then take a close look at Davis' byline photo. Gaze into the abyss, but don't tarry. Those eyes are as dead as a shark's. Android eyes.

Larry Van Guilder

ATSF616's picture

Eyes?

...take a close look at Davis' byline photo. Gaze into the abyss, but don't tarry. Those eyes are as dead as a shark's. Android eyes.

I assume she writes mainly for the Sunday edition, and I only, um, ascribe to the KNS Monday-Saturday. I've tried Google and AltaVista image-searching, but can't find a photo. There doesn't appear to be one on the KNS website. Can someone point me in the right direction?

Nelle's picture

Coulter android, indeed

Well said, Randy and Larry.

But to me, the most important part of her piece was the beginning:

As some have not yet realized, the purpose of my politically oriented columns has been neither an attempt to persuade people to adopt my viewpoint - I thought liberals would find that oppressive, intolerant and parochial of me - nor to rally people toward a common solution to public problems.

So she has no interest in either persuading or inspiring us? She's just talking to hear her lips flap?

Mission Accomplished, Ms. Davis.

Rachel's picture

So she has no interest in

So she has no interest in either persuading or inspiring us? She's just talking to hear her lips flap?

I keyed in on this as well. All I can figure is that she's writing to get her name in the paper.

captainkona's picture

She's so boring...

She's not even good enough to piss me off. At least Coulter makes me wanna watch her get run over by a Greyhound bus. Several times. With tire chains. And a full load of passengers....

This person...whatever, Davis? This person doesn't even have the writing skills to irritate me. The closest she came was annoying me with her lack of ability to annoy me further.

We have one of those types here in the Tri-Cities area. Jodi Lee.
She even plagiarized one of my posts when I tried to correct her some years ago.

What a tramp. LOL


"The mind is like a parachute, it only works when it's open."

Tess's picture

Reckon everybody has to have a schtick

Sorry hers is so unintelligent. (I am assuming her parents spent a bucketload to send her to Duke.)

Bbeanster's picture

Dumb for a Dookie. Evidently

Dumb for a Dookie.
Evidently she's speaking in some kind of code discernible only to those who agree with her. Kind of like a dog whistle.

Tess's picture

That whistle is shrill ' round here

I can't hear nothin'!
(Of course, I have a few years on me.)

R. Neal's picture

I may have to cancel my

I may have to cancel my ascription.

knoxvegas99's picture

Actually, Randy, it's better

Actually, Randy, it's better to take two ascriptions and call circulation in the morning.

Larry Van Guilder

knoxvegas99's picture

Evidently she's speaking in

Evidently she's speaking in some kind of code discernible only to those who agree with her. Kind of like a dog whistle.

Bean: Would that be a "cultrasonic" whistle?

Larry Van Guilder

lovable liberal's picture

Surprised

... she didn't use 'antidisestablishmentarianism' to try to show off. Of course, she'd have used it wrong.

Liberty and justice for all.

My home

Bizzy's picture

When I saw this thread...

I thought it was going to be about Terry Frank...talk about a Coulter wannabe!

lovable liberal's picture

Favorite quote

That being said, we have all heard almost every commentator present his assessment of the presidential race. Count them as obsolete now as I offer you mine.

Funny! She writes badly for a freshman, but she thinks pastiche of conventional wisdom is the last word. Seems she might be an example of the "arrogance of ignorance".

Liberty and justice for all.

My home

Brian A.'s picture

I didn't even make it

I didn't even make it through two paragraphs before my head started to hurt.

I take it from this post that it isn't worth the effort to finish it.

Brian A.
I'd rather be cycling.

Anon's picture

I didn't get started...

I made the mistake of reading her in the past. Her childish picture should have been my first clue to her abilities. Wouldn't you, at a minimum, want to "appear" to be all grown up?

Anonymous's picture

it reminded me of my

it reminded me of my undergraduate history papers when I was using a writing style that used big words my professors liked (dichotomy was a good one) to make up for the fact that I didn't have much to say. the first paragraph was a tip off to move on to another article.

Hildegard's picture

Ouch. I almost used

Ouch. I almost used "dichotomy" recently in an article I was writing, and replaced it when I realized the word "paradox" was appropriate. Still, the impulse to use words that impressed me 20 years ago is strong.

This kid's pretty stiff and humorless for somebody whose "lens" is "humorous." And "caustic."

Pam Strickland's picture

I think I made it through

I think I made it through one article early on. Like Brian A said: It gives me a headache. Next.

Pam Strickland

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." ~Kurt Vonnegut

reform4's picture

Just trying to get a book/TV deal

It's pretty obvious, she just wants to be a highly paid talking head on Fox, followed by a book deal. Formula for success:
- Say outrageous and insulting things
- Avoid facts
- Be (rightly) criticized
- Cry 'censorship'
- Get enough attention to get an interview with Fox
- Show up for interview with straight hair and short skirt to fit in with the rest of the Fox anchors
- Count cash rolling in.

It's not that hard to figure out where she's coming from. Who knows if she even believes the drivel she's spouting?

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