(Ed. note: this was SUPPOSED to be an April Fools post.)
In a shocking unanimous ruling handed down late Friday, the Tennessee Supreme Court has declared Knox County unconstitutional.
The ruling states "we have reviewed more than two hundred years worth of documents seeking anything that would establish the existence of Knox County. We are unable to find any official record of its lawful creation. In addition, the recent behavior of Knox County officials leads us to conclude there never was a Knox County government per se, and that instead it is the longest known running commission of fraud as bad performance art. Therefore, this court finds that Knox County is unconstitutional and that all of its so-called elected officials are unconstitutional and hereby removed from office. The people are instructed to organize themselves into something resembling a county government as set forth in the Tennessee Constitution, forthwith. Their first order of business shall be to appoint a treasurer who is instructed to return all monies ever collected by the fraudulent Knox County government to its former citizens and/or legal heirs."
Commenting via e-mail from Poland, former Knoxville Mayor Victor Ashe remarked, "this is all vrey suprizing i had nohtign to do with it plz send my check to hizzonner, c/o u.s. embassy, poland."
Upon hearing the news, former county commissioner Wanda Moody and her attorney Herb Moncier filed a lawsuit demanding that Sheriff Tim Hutchison be reinstated immediately so their ongoing lawsuit to have him removed can proceed.
Citing concerns about anarchy and road project delays, Tennessee Governor Phil Bredesen asked President Bush to send Viceroy L. Paul Brenner to establish an Interim Provisional Authority. Brenner met with former county commissioner Mary Lou Horner at her house, where they spent most of the evening cutting and pasting from her extensive collection of Cas Walker Watchdog newspapers to assemble an improvised county charter.
In related news, Knoxville Mayor Bill Haslam seized the opportunity to call for metro government. City Council will vote on the measure Tuesday. The public is invited to attend.
- Knoxville News Sentinel website makeover (11 replies)
- Sens. Bell and Kelsey ask AG to sue Obama (4 replies)
- Report: School board member/candidate Gloria Deathridge health issues (4 replies)
- Knox Co. should resolve Halls greenway project issues (36 replies)
- Lloyd Daugherty's statement regarding Supreme Court Chief Justice Gary Wade (10 replies)
- No Credit? No Problem (26 replies)
- ISIS (36 replies)
- George Flinn for Senate? (5 replies)
- State finally admits its for-profit virtual academy is a flop (5 replies)
- Jonathan Turley - "Get ready for an even bigger threat to Obamacare" (13 replies)
- Knoxville firefighters endorse Cheri Siler for State Senate (3 replies)
- Tennessee, an inauspicious place to raise children (1 reply)
- Jul 24 2014 - 6:00pm (4 hours 54 min from now)
- Jul 26 2014 - 9:00am (1 day 19 hours from now)
- Jul 29 2014 - 10:00am (4 days 20 hours from now)
- Jul 29 2014 - 5:30pm (5 days 4 hours from now)