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Holiday Shopping Humor
Submitted by bizgrrl on Mon, 2007/12/03 - 6:42pm.
I went shopping today for a carafe to keep coffee warm. In the department store, I looked around and couldn't find said carafe or a clerk to ask for assistance. I browsed while waiting for a clerk to become free.
While looking over a beautiful menorah, a clerk called out to me, "Can I help you?" I told her I was actually looking for a carafe. She told me, "All of the religious items are in that area".
What? I held my laughter. A carafe isn't religious, I explained, it's a container that holds coffee to keep it warm. Oh, they don't have those, she says.
I think menorahs must shake people up. I asked about a menorah in Blount County a year or so ago. At least the clerk knew what it was. She told me she doubted I would find one in Blount County.
Several years back my sister was living in a small town in Texas that just got their first Kroger. In Houston, the Kroger's would give "turkey bucks" with every purchase over some qualifying amount. My sister approached the check out and asked the cashier if they had turkey bucks. The cashier got a strange look on her face and then said something like, "Did you check the meat department? I will call back there and see if they have turkey butts."
Submitted by Carole Borges on Mon, 2007/12/03 - 8:59pm.
Quite a few years ago, after my baby brother was born, we tried to find a nipple in St. Pete Fl. The clerk looked shocked, then tottered over to a tall set of shelves to climb a wooden ladder on rollers. He finally handed us a dusty box with some ancient red-rubber nipples in it. "We don't have a lot of people looking for these," he said.
When we were teenagers we used to joke we were living in "the city of newly-wed and nearly dead". We'd laugh at the fact that it wasn't that unusual when a bus came by to pick up passengers waiting on one of the famous green benches, that some would never get up.
Somehow now that I'm old this doesn't seem funny anymore.
Submitted by SammySkull on Mon, 2007/12/03 - 9:37pm.
I worked at Barleys a few years ago and drank four to six cups of coffee a day. Of course a cup of coffee for me then was one of the large plastic soda cups we used at the time, about 24 ounces if I remember correctly. I'm now down to three a day on average and in an actual coffee mug.
Submitted by WhitesCreek on Tue, 2007/12/04 - 7:23am.
Which one of those was the big moth looking monster with the ray gun eyes?
I'm pretty sure that Broghan is that lizard thing that lives under the nuclear waste dump in Oak ridge but what does Carafe look like and what are his/her powers?
Submitted by redmondkr on Tue, 2007/12/04 - 12:22pm.
If a junkie such as I goes into the evening hours without a hit from Carafe he soon discovers just how powerful a beast he is.
A couple of weeks ago I began mixing 5 parts regular to 1 part decaf. Now I'm up to half and half. Next week it will be 4 parts decaf, 2 parts regular. Soon I will be free, do you hear me, free!
Submitted by GoldnI (not verified) on Tue, 2007/12/04 - 6:06pm.
I just got back from lighting the ice menorah on campus. The nice thing about Ithaca is that you can build an ice menorah in December, and it won't melt until sometime in March!
Good thing you weren't looking for a dreedle. No telling where she would have sent you.
As mentioned the last time you brought up Menorahs, you're just going to have to go to the Synagogue store.
Several years back my sister was living in a small town in Texas that just got their first Kroger. In Houston, the Kroger's would give "turkey bucks" with every purchase over some qualifying amount. My sister approached the check out and asked the cashier if they had turkey bucks. The cashier got a strange look on her face and then said something like, "Did you check the meat department? I will call back there and see if they have turkey butts."
turkey butts
Good one!
Quite a few years ago, after my baby brother was born, we tried to find a nipple in St. Pete Fl. The clerk looked shocked, then tottered over to a tall set of shelves to climb a wooden ladder on rollers. He finally handed us a dusty box with some ancient red-rubber nipples in it. "We don't have a lot of people looking for these," he said.
When we were teenagers we used to joke we were living in "the city of newly-wed and nearly dead". We'd laugh at the fact that it wasn't that unusual when a bus came by to pick up passengers waiting on one of the famous green benches, that some would never get up.
Somehow now that I'm old this doesn't seem funny anymore.
As a 4 mug a day coffee addict, a carafe IS a religious item for me.
I worked at Barleys a few years ago and drank four to six cups of coffee a day. Of course a cup of coffee for me then was one of the large plastic soda cups we used at the time, about 24 ounces if I remember correctly. I'm now down to three a day on average and in an actual coffee mug.
Which one of those was the big moth looking monster with the ray gun eyes?
I'm pretty sure that Broghan is that lizard thing that lives under the nuclear waste dump in Oak ridge but what does Carafe look like and what are his/her powers?
If a junkie such as I goes into the evening hours without a hit from Carafe he soon discovers just how powerful a beast he is.
A couple of weeks ago I began mixing 5 parts regular to 1 part decaf. Now I'm up to half and half. Next week it will be 4 parts decaf, 2 parts regular. Soon I will be free, do you hear me, free!
Well, of that habit anyway.
Visit us at
Wearybottom Associates
I just got back from lighting the ice menorah on campus. The nice thing about Ithaca is that you can build an ice menorah in December, and it won't melt until sometime in March!
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