Sun
Sep 23 2007
11:02 am
By: R. Neal

We went for a drive across the newly reopened Parsons Branch Road yesterday. Nothing to see there. It's deserted. And it takes forever. The road is really bad, too. You'll probably mess up your car. Trust me, stay away. And tell everyone else you know to stay away, too.

The real excitement is where it comes out on US129 in the middle of the Tail of the Dragon. It's like a day at the races in Daytona during bike week.

I have to say, some of these guys really do look like pros who know how to ride. Others just like to make a lot of noise on bikes not really made for this. Others should probably sell their bikes and get a Buick.

Anyway, some photos of the action after the jump...


Notice anything unusual about their attire?

A frequent sight on US129. This rattlesnake was making his way across the road. We stopped to take a photo. Some bikers coming the other direction stopped to look.

Some old bastard taking a break from selling insurance to work out his issues on a dressed out Goldwing came up behind us, and my friend motioned towards the snake and said to slow down and watch out for it. The son of a bitch gunned it and ran right over the middle of the rattlesnake. Miraculously, he didn't kill it.

The rattlesnake managed to make its way across the road and into the woods, probably to die a slow and painful death. I really don't know what's wrong with people, but it hurts in your heart to know there are assholes like this among us.

bizgrrl's picture

That was just some of the

That was just some of the traffic in the 30 minutes we were there.

SammySkull's picture

unusual attire?

Is the unusual attire question referring to the girl in jeans and a t shirt while the guy is invisible in his head to toe protective gear? And I'm assuming it's a guy/girl combo.

R. Neal's picture

Exactly.

Exactly.

redmondkr's picture

"Dragon Tales"

Your article and great pictures gave me some thought about the accidents on this road. The riders on larger bikes, the Gold Wings, the hogs, the cruisers, do mostly boulevard and interstate riding. Pushing a hog through that sort of highway must be a lot like herding cats. They need to ride the twisties more like a little old lady would and leave the ballet to an experienced rider on a crotch rocket, hopefully, a rider with an organ donor card in his wallet.*

I rode the "Dragon" in the mid eighties on a Honda V45 Magna. Back then there was much less traffic than there is now. I recall a young man in full leathers passing me (friends always teased me about riding 'like a little old lady').

A talented rider rounding those curves with knees nearly touching the pavement is a stirring sight, almost a ballet. I commented to the storekeeper when I reached Deals Gap and he told me that this 'kid' had ridden that stretch of highway many times. He said that he had been known to come into the store and borrow a push broom to remove gravel he had found on a curve. I haven't ridden for ten years and the thought of gravel on a blind curve still gives me the willies.

I had an acquaintance who took his wife for a ride there several years ago. He had owned a bike for two weeks and somehow persuaded her to ride with him. He lost it on that first curve after the long straightaway by the lake. They never even got to the Dragon.

Only an idiot would ride a passenger with two weeks of experience. He told everybody that a wasp had flown into his helmet and distracted him. Yeah, right. His ex-wife still has nasty scars on her face and a limp.

I also rode on the Blueridge Parkway a few times. I stopped for gas at a store above Asheville once and talked with a park ranger who was passing out pamphlets to all motorcyclists. They warned about the hazards of riding the parkway. The worst of them seemed to be getting mesmerized by the scenery and forgetting to take care of the business of staying on the road. He said they had had instances of people just literally 'riding off into the sunset'.

*My cousin's husband was once the Warren County Coroner. He told me that his friends referred to motorcycles as 'donorcycles'.

He once said, "We get a lot of fine young kidneys from these guys."


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R. Neal's picture

They need to ride the

They need to ride the twisties more like a little old lady would and leave the ballet to an experienced rider on a crotch rocket

It was interesting to me how many different kinds of bikes and riders there were.

The rough looking guys on big hogs seemed to mostly be out for a leisurely ride (except for all the damn noise from some of them), and mostly took it easy except in some of the straight stretches.

The crotch rocket riders seemed to be out there practicing for a race or something. Some of them looked pretty skilled and were amazing to watch.

A lot of the guys on big Gold Wings with wives on back mostly looked scared shitless, like what the hell am I doing here and how far is it back to the RV?

P.S. Re. the photos, as you can see it took me a while to dial in the settings and technique (It's been about 15 years since I took any "race" photos and I'd forgotten how). Next time, if there is one, I can probably get some more and better shots.

P.P.S. Didn't see any Vincents, that I know of. And thankfully did not witness any wipe outs, not for lack of trying in some cases, though. And amazingly, there was little if any law enforcement presence.

One interesting phenomenon, though was that riders coming from the left who could see me from a ways off slowed way down going into the big curve. I had on green shorts, a black shirt, and a green cap, and I had a big camera. Maybe they thought I was a cop or a ranger or something.

Johnny Ringo's picture

The guy in the pic with the

The guy in the pic with the "59" on the front of his bike and no lights IS a pro. That bike isn't street legal.

The first time I rode the dragon, I was hanging on for dear life when two guys like that came through a particularly radical turn. Both were on race bikes (numbers, no lights, etc.) The chasing bike had a camera mounted on the front to film the lead bike, I guess so the guy could later review his technique.

So here I am going one way and barely hanging on. These guys come in the other direction, both leaned over like in the pic above draggng knees to make it through the corner. And in the middle of that radical turn, the guy on the lead bike takes a hand of the bar and waves at me.

I knew then I'd never be a racer.

Johnny Ringo's picture

[i]Ever ride a 2 stroke

Ever ride a 2 stroke bike?

Nah. I rode some pretty hot bikes, but all were 4 strokes. I think there are a couple of exotic 2 strokes that are street legal these days, but for the most part emission controls mean that 4 strokes rule the street.

Like I said, I was never a racer. BTW, all street bikes in Tennessee have to have headlights. That's why #59 clearly isn't on a legal bike.

Pam Strickland's picture

organ donors

*My cousin's husband was once the Warren County Coroner. He told me that his friends referred to motorcycles as 'donorcycles'.
He once said, "We get a lot of fine young kidneys from these guys."

You know, I have admiration for people who ride motorcycles well, but it scares me to see them in traffic. I've an aunt who has been an RN at UT Hospital for over 30 years. She can tell some stories about the quanity and quality of motorcycle wreck injuries.

In contrast, I took a drive up to Union County on Saturday and saw a young lady riding a bicycle and wearing a very serious motorcycle helment. Interesting. It was so big, I was convinced she was going to lose her balance.

Pam Strickland

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." ~Kurt Vonnegut

Justin's picture

You can also check out

You can also check out Killboy.com for a plethora of Dragon pics. Lat time I was at the Gap it was with a friend of mine for a Mini-Cooper soire. It was amusing watching the idiots riding Goldwings scraping their pipes on the pavement trying to act like Speedracer.

John Andrews's picture

Nice, but how about the yoyo

Nice, but how about the yoyo today riding east on I-40 in west Knoxville in the right lane, going slower than all the traffic, wearing a helmet, a t shirt, shorts and flip flops. Even my wife commented.

cafkia's picture

A couple of points to consider

50,000 folks a year die in cars, far more than expire in motorcycle incidents. I rather sincerely doubt that there is a single medical institution that would be willing to limit themselves to organ donations from motorcycle fatalities.

I am very fond of females over a pretty broad age range. I take issue with the description of riding like a little old lady. Taking the design of the motorcycle, the skill of the rider, conditions and the rider's intentions into consideration and choosing to slow down as a result, should not be derided as riding like a little old lady. It should be applauded as riding sanely.

The Dragon is a fun ride. I did it a few weeks ago on a Harley Electra Glide Classic. I and my buddy rode our bikes in such a fashion that allowed for taking in the scenery and enjoying the 318 curves. We could have ridden faster, both of us have been riding for 30+ years but, we didn't need to prove anything to anyone.

While there are some who pose a threat by their aggressive riding styles, I believe that as usual, cars are the bigger threat. I have seen many on the Dragon that appeard to be operated by individuals who were uncomfortable with the hills and curves. I would like to see the road restricted to bikes for about 4 hours twice a week or so and only one direction allowed at a time during the restricted times. Outside of those times, I would support the idea of an increased law enforcement presence. Probably not a perfect solution but, I think one worth looking at.

CAFKIA

----------------------------------------------------------- 

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.
  - William G. McAdoo

Mello's picture

No cops?

What? No County deputies out there raising funds for their training center?

Welcome tourists and bikers! For every first time offender ticket issued in Blount County, the Sheriff's office now will get $10 to help finance their new training center.

In case you missed it, Blount County Commissioner Wendy Pitts Reeves has the info on her blog (link...)

How is this not a quota?

redmondkr's picture

I take issue with the

I take issue with the description of riding like a little old lady.

It's really the dig about the herding of cats isn't it?


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ma am's picture

noise pollution

The noise these bikes put out, particularly the harlies, can really ruin a day in the woods. It echoes for miles. They now also run up TN165 (cherohala skyway) and do a big loop w/ the dragon. Which used to be a nice, quiet place to hike. I can't imagine anywhere off of 129 would be nice to visit anymore.

itchybro's picture

Mr. Neal. GREAT shots. I

Mr. Neal. GREAT shots.

I feel your pain regarding fast moving objects.

Exhibit's A thru C: (Road Atlanta)

Regarding the dragon.

If one is interested in the burning questions: "Who's doing all the dying up there, and just where do they come from?" just look here:

(link...)

We see a high concentration of "flatlanders".

Due to the internet this road has become what I've termed "GAP-linburg". This road is VERY technical and deserve all the attention and respect a rider can muster.

Most of the fatalities have been of the crusier and trike types.

In Mr. Neal's photo's above there are two things I'd like to comment on:

The "non-street legal" bike (and those of his ilk) is/are probably the safest pilot in this collection. He probably knows the road better than anyone pictured. He's riding WELL within his means. Most of these people (yes, there are some VERY quick young ladies up there on Ducati's and such) look upon riding as a craft.

In the pictures that have bikes leaned over the furthest, notice where the bike is positioned in the lane. They're the best riders up there. Though, their numbers have declined much since the Guv's grant has kicked in. From what I've heard and seen they are targeted much more than the slower line crossing, multi apex fringed set.

The girl with no gear: Should know better. So should the the guy hauling her around. If something ugly occurs I hope he can help shoulder the cost of skin grafts.

I'm a big proponent of tiered licensing and lane sharing but that's another story.

If your gonna ride, dress for the crash NOT the ride.
_________________
"Well, we all like motorcycles to some degree..." Bob Dylan in No Direction Home

R. Neal's picture

Great pics, Ithcy.

Great pics, Ithcy. Thanks.

Interesting observations, too. I also noticed that the "pro" riders seemed to be able to keep it in the yellow line. From what I've heard, crossing the yellow line is the main thing they are writing tickets for up there. Not sure why they aren't enforcing speed limits. I guess it's good for tourism:

(link...)

I have mixed feelings about all this.

This is probably a unique road for this sort of thing.

Maybe Dupree's idea of closing it for periods of "anything goes" is worth looking at. Or maybe some kind of officially sanctioned events.

Not sure what other route people would take to Fontana etc. if the road was closed, though, or how you close a U.S. highway for a sporting event.

I also have to say that when we were up there I didn't feel all that "unsafe" because of the riders. They slowed down and followed car traffic for the most part, unless they saw an opening to pass you at a high rate of speed.

There's definitely an interesting phenomenon going on up there.

itchybro's picture

I just wish OUR Governor

I just wish OUR Governor would've put the 60k grant toward something like this:

(link...)

Mind you, I realize it probably wouldn't do much to stem the tide those inhabitants of horizontal lands suffering from multi apex syndrome.

Regarding noise: My bikes have stock pipes.(one is a BMW that yes, sounds like a sewing maching, the other a Buell that I had to find a stock pipe for because some idiot wanted that "screamin eage vibe" and had sawed the end off the thing thus, ruining the mapping for the fuel injection) They have more than enough power to get me in trouble and hopefully enough to get me out.

With the quiet pipes the troopers don't hear you announcing your presence from such a long distance. It's also good to see them BEFORE they see you. Not that I'm breaking the 30mph speed limit.

I have ridden up there since the speed limit was 55. I always took that as a dare from the state.

Regarding "tourism" and speeding: I have seen with my very own eyes a citation for 33 in a 30.

When did Dupree re-assemble the beast?

_________
_
"Well, we all like motorcycles to some degree..." Bob Dylan in No Direction Home

R. Neal's picture

I have ridden up there since

I have ridden up there since the speed limit was 55. I always took that as a dare from the state.

No kidding. Guess that was left over from the moonshining days. I believe that used to be a main route out of NC.

When we were up there this weekend, at one point we looked over to our left and saw a car running exactly parallel to us at the same speed, coming the other way! We were coming up on a 180 degree turn. It was weird.

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