Tennessee’s state legislature is meeting in a rare Sunday session at the insistence of several members concerned that former Star Trek actor George Takei has perfected a weapon he will use to turn the assembly gay.

Takei has been bragging to his many Facebook followers that any moment now he will unveil a Gay Ray Gun. Rep. Bill Dunn was seen wearing a tin foil hat he believes will protect him from the effects. Dunn was in a heated exchange with Rep. Frank Niceley about whether the shiny side should face inward or outward. Niceley, a prominent birther, is considered the local expert on such items, and recommended shiny side out.

State Senator Stacey Campfield was wearing his foil hat in the manner recommended by Niceley. Campfield, however, was taking extra precautions. He had fashioned over his clothes a foil jock strap. “I think we all should do this, too” he said. “Ryan Haynes ignored me and already he’s using terms like GAYDAR and looking a little metrosexual to me.”

Campfield bristled over criticism of his tin foil chastity belt. “The media are always misrepresenting me,” he declared. “This is aluminum foil, not tin. And I’m only wearing it this way because inside it chafed.”

The incident so far has led to panicked calls to the FBI, the Republican National Committee, the Reagan Library, ALEC, the Koch Brothers, and—in what likely was a typo problem—former Oakland Raider punter Ray Guy.

Security guard Frank Wills was unimpressed by the April 1st session. “Aside from the overtime I’m getting,” he said, “this is pretty much a normal day around here.”