To appease the local media, particularly the News Sentinel and perhaps the local television stations, we need to remake junior, knock down some of those preconceived notions, biases, and worn out monikers along the way.

1.  Junior needs to film his television commercials at Pilot stations and show the Corker signs with the $2.75 for a gallon of gas and $3.99 for a gallon of milk and $34 for a carton of cigarettes and then rail against all four, letting people know in America rednecks can't buy stuff cheaper than black people, rip offs cut across all segement of society.

2.  Junior need some black hollywood bombshell on his arm as he prowls around East Tennessee.  We know he's not married, but we're not sure why not and we're not comfortable with swinging singles carving up the tax code, working on foreign policy, figuring out FEMA, perhaps overly concerned that every single person in Washington was on the make for everyone they saw.  Good example.........Fred Thompson, hell he married some young filly, now he's a new dad.  Junior's not gay, we just need to make sure.

3.  Junior needs to be at Bristol in August.  He needs to understand "fixin' to git" and why one needs to "pull them belts tight".  Entertainment is a common bond with the public and if you're entertained at a NASCAR race, them voters will appreciate you and you'll enjoy the race much more than a night at the Kennedy Center watching the Washington Opera.

4.  Junior needs a prop.  Frist had the flag tie, Thompson had the red truck.  Alexander was the plaid man.  Junior needs a big blue ford truck.  The obvious tie in with the manufacturer is appealing and provides all kinds of cross marketing gadgets and gimicks which people will hook onto.

5.  We need to know where junior lives.  Some people know he lives on mud island in Memphis, some people think he lives down the street from Graceland, others assume he has a number of homes like his uncle john.  Set the record strait, shoot a commercial from the den at home, tell it like it is.

6. Junior needs a huntin' dog.  Every East Tennessean has a dog that hunts.  They may hunt laps or they may hunt biscuits, but they hunt.  I'd suggest a manly dog like a lab or a retriever, not a chiwawa or a poodle.

You put all these elements togather and have junior, in the truck, with a dog in the back, Halle Berry or Beyonce Knowles riding shotgun, driving from Bristol to the city of Memphis and junior will be able to tell all that he's been to the mountain top and he's seen the promised land and the promised land is East Tennessee and thems good people up are and he can pack his office and move it to the Senate side come January.

You can run the math, he only needs 40 percent of the vote in East Tennessee and he's your next US Senator from the great state of Tennessee.  This is no easy task, particularly since Corker is from Chattanooga and the first district has not elected a Democrat to the House in forever.

Cutting the other way, the last person from Chattanooga proper to be elected to any statewide office was Bill Brock in 1972 as a component of the Nixon landslide.   Brock lasted all of one term in the Senate and before you can say Jimmy Carter three times backwards, Jim Sasser rolled in for 3 straight terms.

Thompson had the red truck for two campaigns.  Folks have been there done that.  Blue or Black, pick it, nice super duty Ford will do.  Play a few elvis songs, throw a little bar b que around so they'll know you're from Memphis not Union City.  It's not against the law to have a whacked out family, hell Jimmy Duncan's brother was tried for bank fraud and he's OK, isn't he.

No matter where you go in life, well, there you are.