When you break the law...at least when you break a serious law...you ought to go to jail...I guess. Anyway. I went to jail Friday.

(More after the jump)

 Well, well, well...After roughly 6000 signatures were turned in to stop the Taj Ma Jail in Roane County, the County Commission went a head with the expense of a special moratorium election anyway.

 Individually, you can chat with these people and they come across as reasonable folks with a fair percentage of their faculties still intact...well, most of them, anyway...But something happens when you gather them up in the County Commission meeting room. Their collective IQ must drop nearly 30 points or more, because they have the phenominal ability to completely miss the point of what the folks they are supposed to represent are trying to tell them.

More after the jump...

I moved my family to Roane county in 1988. Yep, folks, I'm a "come-here".

This puts me at a disadvantage when I try to get along with folks because I don't have the Tribal knowlege of who done what to who's wife when they were somebody else's girlfriend back in the eigth grade, and who's daddy went to jail for what, and all the other small town historical events that create tight knit communities. People hold grudges for a very long time, and the sillier the affront, the deeper and longer clutched the grudge.

My family and I have attempted something completely new to this area. You see, there are five little towns and a part of another in Roane county and we pride ourselves on having connections with every single one of them. This means, in small town Tennessee, that we are outsiders whereever we go. I call myself "multicultural"..."They" call me "Not fromaround here".

When folks ask where we live, I tell them I live in a suburb of Glen-Alice, Tennessee, which is one of those perfect places inthe world. Glen-Alice, is on every Tennessee road map there is. Check for yourself. This is perfect because Glen-Alice, Tennessee isn't here...it doesn't exist. Washed away in the big flood in 1929...Got a monument with 28 names on it, but we ain't got no town. Like I said...

Perfect!

Since we don't have a town, we aren't burdened with the problem of electing a mayor or any of the other official small town positions. we have to make do with the County wide "positions"

 (now that i look at the word "position", isn't that sort of a funny way to describe elected office? works though doesn't it?)

Two big "positions" are up for grabs this time around.

The sheriff is an incumbent but has been wounded by a reasonable amount of bungling and a tell all book that mentions his name a fair number of times. He seems to be honest as any of the other candidates and has the skills of a fair middle manager who has become the victim of the Peter Principle. He completely misread the county jail issue which will hang albatrossian around his neck, but he could retain his job as much by electoral calculation than anything else. Most all of the other citizens of our fair county are running for his job and he may win by the simple fact of getting two votes to everyone else's one. 

Perhaps it is time for a primary and runoff system to be installed in Roane County. The Sheriff oughta have gotten at least half the votes cast in the election, otherwise most all of the citizens have to be watched and arrested upon the commission of any perceived infraction instead of merely 49%.

The incumbant County Mayor is not running for reelection and this has everyone in an uproar. So far we have three people who have turned in petitions to run and all three have spoken to me for support.

Damn!

Support usually means money when it comes to elections, but i am trying to be as slippery as I can. All three candidates are good friends of mine. I know them well. Which ever one gets elected, well, I'll do my dangdest to help make them the best County executive possible. but until the election, how do you tell a good friend that you just can't support him? Now do that twice and you see how small town politics gets all messy and screws up some good drinking relationships.

Oh well, I was looking for someplace to live when I found Roane County, so I guess I can move if I wind up on the wrong side of everything. But dambit! I like it here. Roane County is absolutely beautiful. And the people here are a hoot! Three times a week the paper comes out and we get to see who shot whom and we know whether they needed shooting or not. (Not that there's anything right with that...) When the authorities arrest somebody impotent, we wave and they nod back as they are handcuffed and taken away. In three or four years, they'll be back, spend a few Sundays crying in church for all they're worth, and a new scandal will rise up and be annointed, as our elected officials vie for the top spot in the "stupidest ever" contest.

 But it's Spring in an election year...

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

 Peace,

Steve

I don't know why anyone in Roane County needs to watch TV for entertainment with the characters we have stirring things up.

 There's a change in the wind with one of our very own home grown, foam at the mouth, Conservatives giving up on Republicans. "I can no longer trust President Bush" he wrote in a letter to the editor ( who was stunned enough to make double sure the letter actually came from old Chuck). Chuck is calling for a third party somewhat to the right of President Bush, Karl Rove, and Adolph Shicklgruber.

The call has gone out for contestants in the Miss Polk Salad 2006 pageant. I read the article twice to make sure that they didn't use the term "beauty" anywhere in it. I thought it was "Poke" salad all my life to this point. Tony Joe White was apparently wrong and Elvis corrected his spelling.

 Tennessee is known far and wide for correkt spellin, doncha know?

Since pokeweed is fairly poisonous, the organizers will choose not one, but two runners up who will be able to assume the duties of the Polk Salad Queen should stomach distress prevent her from the proper execution of her duties.

Good Thinking!

Early voting in the Jail bond controversy has started. I'll be casting a "NO" vote on Monday if I can find a parking place at the Courthouse.

Well, da Judge got arrested and made bond. No word on whether he used a bondsman. He's a likable guy...Too bad. But you do wrong...Let the chips fall where they may.

Kingston had a recall petition that fell short of kicking out a single City Councilman or the Mayor...although it was close in the Mayor's case. Seems like a few signatures were suspect...

"I see dead people."

The anti jail petition, on the other hand, blew the doors off the County Commision...Seems like the fine people of Roane County don't really want a Jail/prison on the campus of Roane State Community College.

Is this somehow connected to da Judge? Maaaaaybee...

A Harriman Patriot is in trouble for writing a mean letter to his President. Seems the Feds just can't take a joke...

The next issue of the Roane County News might be the most newsworthy in a long time.

Ah, Roane county. It's fun out here... and beautiful, too. Join us sometime.

G'night

Steve

Jail petition results will be announced at the Roane County Commission meeting Monday night. With 6400 signatures turned in and only 3200 needed, the commisioners should get the message that they are out of step with what the rest of the citizenry want and withdraw their current jail proposal and save the county the expense of a referendum.

There are several reasonable plans that could be developed as a viable and acceptable plan B. I like the idea of leaving the jail right where it is and give the administrative procedures a thorough going over to start with. A little thoughful collaboration can knock this out and let us move on to the real challenge facing Roane County...The Schools.

Anybody heard the latest figure for money needed?

I'm hearing numbers greater than $35 million! We don't spend that kind of money unlessit's for an Industrial Park that sits nearly empty.

Cheers,

Steve