Jan 30 2007
07:50 pm
By: Andy Axel

The Way of the K00k is not easily understood by those of a sane set of mind. Herein the seeker may find keys with which the ineffable K00K Mind might be fathomed...

(gleefully stolen from (link...))

Never learn from your mistakes.

Always practice your mistakes; you may get them right.

Always pick on those smarter and tougher than you.

Always believe that only you know the TRVTH.

Never allow logic or reason get in the way of a good k00k.

When being overwhelmed by logic and reason: k00ksuit!

If you are going to be wrong, do it at the top of your lungs.

When caught in a lie: LIE!

Plagiarism is your friend. Use it.

Link, quote, and/or post numerous copy&paste web articles from crackpot websites (including, but not limited to Pajamas Media affliliates, CNSNews, Drudgereport, Townhall, and the Washington Times).

Quote notorious bloggers, scientists, pundits, or writers - it makes it look as if they approve the drivel you are writing!

Be vigilant in your redundancy. The more you repeat yourself, the more likely others will believe you!

Always remain clueproof.

When responding to one line challenges, post paragraphs of rants and screed in response.

Incoherency is not a roadblock to posting. (Neither is illiteracy.)

Delusions posted often enough become fact.

Claim you will destroy [insert forum name] for attacking you.

Find your Lame, Use your Lame, Be your Lame!

Post Edit when the TRVTH hurts.

Always accuse others of the very acts you are guilty of.

Post lots of boasts about your high IQ and incredible talents.

Declare yourself equal to a deity of your choice.

Claim that you've come from other planets.

Claim thousands of past lives.

Frothing complaints carry far more weight when you send them from "legal@" some domain.

Nothing strikes terror into the hearts of your detractors more than telling them that you're archiving their messages for possible use in the future.

Never forget that everyone else posting to KnoxViews is a paid disinformation agent looking to discredit you. If a KnoxViews moderator plonks one of your posts, he's obviously violating your 1st Amendment rights.

Every moderator in the world hangs out online all day, and they're just dying to nuke the account of that meanyhead who just called you "fucknozzle". Drop 'em a line - that's what they're there for, after all.

They've demoted hundreds of posts in the name of free speech and *yours* will be next.

Remember that your ko0ky klaims are 'facts', and that 'facts' do not require proof.

Do not neglect to post your responses to forums that the originator doesn't read. This will make the people in that forum very impressed with how you tear him to shreds without him being able to respond. They like it even better if you are off-topic for that forum.

Keep in mind that lack of evidence supporting your konspiracy theory actually _is_ evidence of how effective the konspiracy is in hiding.

Any problems with your posts are the fault of the konspirators, who are trying to stop you from preventing the extinction of humanity, the election of a Democratic candidate for president, or the beginning of the South Waterfront Project.

Konspiracies that are able to subvert whole governments are always unable to silence konspiracy k00ks.

The entire United States government is willing to spend millions of dollars for the sole purpose of harassing you.

Do not consult psychiatrists or other mental health professionals. They are part of the konspiracy, and will sedate you and lock you away and keep you drugged if you tell them the truth.

There is a fine line between trolling and k00kery. Find that line and cross it repeatedly. When you are flamed, plonked, demoted, and/or LARTed* for abuse as a result, claim victory. If you lose multiple accounts, this merely proves that you are indeed a world-class troll, with a black-belt in manipulation.

If you respond to every post someone else makes, they're obsessed. If they respond to less than 1% of your posts, they're even more obsessed.

Everyone is out to get you. You can put a stop to this by telling everyone that they're out to get you at every available opportunity.

You are the only sane one.

Those that give you a hard time about morally bankrupt things you yourself admit to are just persecutioners of the new inquisition.

Yelling in in boldface and randomized capitalization is debate. Your detractors laughing at you with sarcastic remarks is obvious anger and jealousy.

If doing something results in the loss of your account, legal hassles, or blunt trauma injury, do it again. It always works better the second time.

Formatting tags. Lots and lots of formatting tags.

Poking holes in k00kscreed is stalking, and is a felony.

K00ks LOVE to "connect the dots". They are, of course, dots that only the k00k can see.

"They laughed at Einstein, too!"

* My new favorite g33ksp34k: LART = Loser Attitudinal Readjustment Treatment.

Number9's picture

Oh dear...

You forgot to include the subject line continuation dots...

I was wondering who "plonked" my Global warming post.

In the future when you do "plonk" a post, a private message as to the reason why would be appreciated. That should be a requirement and part of the user agreement.

Did I offend the "progressive" filter? Or just you Andy?

R. Neal's picture

Dont assume. You know what

Dont assume. You know what happens.

(Since when did you start writing the user agreement for KnoxViews? Have you even read it lately?)

Andy Axel's picture

I was wondering who

I was wondering who "plonked" my Global warming post.

Keep wondering. I have no access to KV between the hours of 8 & 5 CST.


Recursive blogwhore.

WhitesCreek's picture

I haven't noticed a

I haven't noticed a Progressive Filter. I have noticed one for Stoopid, but only if its not funny. The funny stuff seems to get through. That's quite the tribute to stoopid, since by definition, irony has to be fact based.



(Great stuff 2A)

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