Are Democrats like perpetual hippies? Like, wow, man, we're holding a convention. Let's get it together.

According to an analysis by the St. Paul Pioneer Press [1], St. Paul and the Republicans are better organized and have a better plan in 5 out of 8 categories. The Democrats are good when it comes to Volunteers, Environmental Friendliness, and, of course, Star Power. We got the Hollywood types. Can we win an election though?

Speaking of Environmental Friendliness, one other thing the Democrats are doing is promoting healthy eating. There will be no fried food [2]available through the convention. This doesn't seem very hospitable to us Southerners. I mean, what are you going to serve us? Tomatoes [3]?