Bush responds to the ISG report... [1]

After the jump...

"I have just learned that there is at least three more different gangs of terrorists we are fighting over there - the Sooners, the She-men, and the Cruds. Throw in Al Qaida, and you've got yourself a hell of a mess.

Some say we might have to put up some partitions between them. I do not think cubicles are the solution. Some say we need more troops. Others say we need less troops. I agree. We more or less need troops, and not sitting around in cubicles. This has been my plan I have been telling you about all along.

They also tell me there is a civil war over there. I did not know slavery was a problem, or we would have got in there sooner to emaciate them.

See, Don Rumsfeld never told me about any of this. This is a whole different ballgame. Dick says this Gates fellow will fix it. As you may know, he invented a Windows program so he must be pretty smart. So I have complete confidence in him.

But Don Rumsfeld did say on his way out that the Iraqs have to drop their, uh, well they have to pull up their socks. I agree on that and I will pass that along to the new guy so he can check on that.

And to my critics of my policies, I say pulling out early is not an option. We will stay in until our job is done and the Iraqs are fully satisfied. We will also not have any timetables. The terrorists don't punch a time clock and neither will we. It will take as long as it takes, and the only victory we will accept is an outcome.

All we need is a little more resolve and a little more money from Congress and we will get this cleared up right away. The American people will just have to trust me on that."