Feb 7 2006
11:33 am

Imagine our Attorney General on SNL.........................

You can be president and never obey the law!

You can be the president and never obey the law!

You say, "Alberto, how can I be the president and never obey the law?"

First! Become president!

Now, you say, "Alberto? What do I say to Congress and the press when they come to my door and say, 'You have never obeyed the law'?"

Two simple words.

Two simple words in the English language: "I forgot!"

How many times do we let ourselves get into terrible situations because we don't say, "I forgot?"

Let's say you're on trial for violating the 4th Amendment rights of American citizens at random. You say to the judge, "I forgot... spying on Americans without a warrant... was illegal!!!"

Let's suppose he says back to you, "You have committed a foul crime. you have spied on thousands of innocent people at random, and you say, 'I forgot'?"

Two simple words: Excuuuuuse me! *

(More cynicism after the jump...)


Watching the recaps of the Senate proceedings, I'm more and more convinced that the GWOT (Global War on Terror) is a clapboard facade housing a bunch of nimrods, hacks, and wannabe nimrods and hacks, enriching themselves on the fatted calf of the federal bureaucracy. No one actually serious about defending this country from terrorism could possibly claim that Al Qaeda operatives are too f*****g stupid to realize that their calls "might be monitored and recorded for quality assurance."

But I forgot that our Attorney General is convinced everyone in the world has the attention span of the average American Idol fanatic.

I think, based on my experience, it is true -- you would assume that the enemy is presuming that we are engaged in some kind of surveillance.

But if they're not reminded about it all the time in the newspapers and in stories, they sometimes forget.

Assuming that sort of blithe ignorance on the part of your enemy, Mr. Attorney General, is rooted in the very same arrogance which resulted in the deaths of 3,000 Americans. Sir.

If we are indeed conducting a war on terror, and you're representing the considered opinion of this administration, you ought to be fired.

But I forgot that this administration values loyalty above all else.

Excuuuuuuuuuuuse me.

* (apologies to Steve Martin, who used to be funny.)


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